Most conflicts are not caused by bad intentions. They are caused by limited angles.
We see a situation from where we stand — shaped by our experiences, responsibilities, fears, and expectations — and we assume that what we see is the full picture. It rarely is. Perspective is not reality. It is a position.
The ability to shift that position, even slightly, is one of the most powerful relational skills we can develop — at work and at home.
Perspective Is a Filter, Not a Fact
Every person interprets the same situation differently.
A manager sees “lack of ownership.”
An employee sees “lack of clarity.”
A parent sees “disrespect.”
A teenager sees “lack of trust.”
Neither perspective is automatically wrong. They are simply incomplete.
Our brain fills in gaps quickly. It creates stories to make sense of behavior. The danger is not that we have a perspective — it’s that we believe ours is the only valid one.
When perspective becomes certainty, connection disappears.
What “Putting Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes” Really Means
Empathy is often misunderstood as agreement. It is not.
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes does not mean you abandon your values or your boundaries. It means you temporarily step out of your own mental frame to explore another one.
It means asking:
What pressures might they be under?
What outcome are they trying to protect?
What fear might be driving this reaction?
What information might they have that I don’t?
It is not about defending the other person.
It is about understanding the logic behind their behavior.
And when behavior starts to make sense, even if you still disagree, the emotional charge softens.
Why New Perspectives Matter
1. They Reduce Emotional Reactivity
When we interpret behavior as personal attack, we react defensively. When we interpret it as someone protecting something important to them, we respond differently.
Perspective creates emotional space.
Instead of:
“You’re against me.”
We begin to think:
“You’re trying to protect something.”
That shift changes tone, language, and outcome.
2. They Improve Decision-Making
In organizations, poor decisions are often made not because of incompetence, but because of narrow viewpoints.
When teams consider multiple perspectives:
Risks become clearer.
Blind spots become visible.
Solutions become more creative.
A new angle can reveal opportunities that a single perspective could never see.
3. They Strengthen Relationships
Feeling understood is one of the deepest human needs.
When someone senses that you genuinely try to understand their viewpoint — even before defending your own — trust increases.
You don’t have to agree to show respect.
And respect builds relational safety.
The Courage to Step Out of Your Position
Perspective-taking requires humility.
It requires admitting:
“I might not be seeing the whole story.”
For many people, especially in high-pressure environments, that feels risky. We are rewarded for being decisive, confident, certain.
But certainty without curiosity creates rigidity.
Growth, on the other hand, requires flexibility.
The strongest leaders, partners, and communicators are not those who hold their ground the hardest. They are those who can shift angles without losing themselves.
Perspective as a Daily Practice
You don’t need dramatic conflicts to practice perspective. It can start with small moments:
Before reacting, pause and ask:
What else could be true here?
What might I be missing?
How would this look if I were in their role?
The goal is not to always be right.
The goal is to see more.
Because the wider your perspective, the more intentional your response becomes.
Final Thought
Most misunderstandings are not about values. They are about vantage points.
When we dare to step into someone else’s shoes, we don’t shrink our own perspective — we expand it.
And in that expansion, conversations soften, solutions improve, and relationships deepen.
Sometimes the breakthrough is not changing the situation.
It’s changing the angle from which we look at it.